Synergy: a joyful thing to savour
Missing a Friend or a Family member can be a soulful affair. It is said that one should see the positives, the delight that you have someone to care about that much. You have found these wonderful and special people. However that does not change the reality that when you think of them there can be a pang. The cliché of missing them is like missing a part of yourself is not far off. These friends bring different parts of you forward, likewise you do this for them, and this synergy is a joyful thing to savour.
Staying in touch can often be awkward with trying to get the timing of a call right to finishing the email you started or trying to be on Skype at the same time. On my journey of trying to find the best solution for communication I found help from a book on the 5 Love languages that a friend had recommended to me. I have found the ideas to be a helpful way not only to refer to in everyday friendships but also to optimise the few moments I got with those I was missing.
It works on the basis that of these 5 love languages you will have a leaning towards one of them that shows the best way you receive love being communicated to you. These are they : Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation & Gifts.
A way I found it helped was when I was missing my sister allot. We were living in different cities and she newly married; I felt a frustration rise in me. She would send me txts saying ‘I love you’ but this just made me more annoyed. I wanted to properly talk to her, to know what she is up to and maybe how she is feeling, but how could she really mean I love you if she didn’t even want to talk.
Then applying the idea I realised my sister’s main love language is words of affirmation! So she really does mean it! The difficult thing is I love her too and my way of loving is through quality time, so when I thought of her I wanted to give her a call and chat for half an hour..
So I decided to try and change my natural reaction. Instead for trying to call I texted true and encouraging words and she txt back! Result!
We still had the connection I desired and I had shown her I was thinking of her and loved her.
To try and decipher what you think your language is, ask these questions :
How do I express love to others? What do I complain about the most? What do I request most often?
And you can ask the same questions about those who are around you, it really is freeing!